Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
