Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
