he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
