i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
