she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
ok first of all what the fuck
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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