Porn is love you can see.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
