I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
