The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Randomize
