They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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