Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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