I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize