as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize