sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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