Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
