next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize