After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
