and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize