Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
