my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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