Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
