hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
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