Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
