i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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