just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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