I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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