I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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