I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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