so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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