there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize