"it" just moved
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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