we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Randomize
