We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
