I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
This couple is walking their pig around campus
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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