Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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