Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
These tits shall not be calmed
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