Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize