She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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