He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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