He had one of those small greek statue penises
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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