rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
