Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
