I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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