you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
