I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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