those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
