Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
