when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
