Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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