How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize