So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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