i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
