Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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