just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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