it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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