bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
