Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
