I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
