Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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