we're blogging at a bar
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
