Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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