Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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