i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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