I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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