im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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