??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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