Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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