Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Randomize
