I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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