We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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